A man died and was sent to Hell. As he passed sulfurous
pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he knew to be
a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
“That’s unfair!” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity,
and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.”
“Shut up,” barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork.
“How dare you question that woman’s punishment?”
Going to the Dogs
A lawyer's dog, running off-leash, beelines for a butcher
shop and steals a roast from the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "If
an off-leash dog steals meat from my store, do I have
a right to demand payment from the dog's owner?"
"Then you owe me ten dollars. Your dog stole a roast
from me today."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check
(attorneys don't carry cash).
Several days later, the butcher receives a letter from
the lawyer. Opening it, he reads, “Invoice: Dog Law Consultation-
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. As soon as the waiter left, the lawyers opened their briefcases and each pulled out a sandwich and started to eat.
The owner quickly marched over and exclaimed, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The lawyers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders,
and exchanged sandwiches.
Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?
An ambulance stopped suddenly.